Reason for this Blog

Since the day I started this blog, I have had reservations about it. have tried to keep my disease out of the public eye as much as possible in an attempt to appear "normal". Reading a fellow Lupies blog has helped me realize its time stop being ashamed. It's time to stop being afraid of losing more friends. Most of which are already gone, btw! I NEED my place to vent, to share, to hopefully comfort or inspire another Lupie. Or maybe even just educate someone.  I have been so afraid of who will see this, what they will think. So I have posted rarely. I have been judged A LOT since 2001. Until my DX, was treated as a hypochondriac by friends and family. Like it was all in my head. Now I am treated like I have the plague! Like I am contagious, or pathetic. If I hear, "But you don't look sick" one more time think shall scream. When people find out I have Lupus they ask me what symptoms I have, how I found out I had it....once I start explaining it, their eyes glaze over and lose them half way through the explanation. This is why I keep quiet about it with strangers. Or people decide want to know. Which is a lot of people. On facebook I have to maintain a professional appearance due to my photography business. Twitter is where I can be myself and not that sick person. I can laugh and joke and just be me. so m going to start posting regularly on here from now on. I am not afraid any more. care who reads it. live in fear of being judged the rest of my life because the fact is, they will judge me anyway. with OR without this blog!!  So, I hope to help someone in some small way. Even if it is only myself. loL